Published: September 26, 2008 12:55 pm      

Pike cameras take toll on the changeless

BY TOM LAVIS

TLAVIS@TRIBDEM.COM

There are no free passes in life. A good example of that occurred when I had a conversation with Karl Crupnik a few weeks back at the Suds and Grub Cafe.

He was in a lather about an interesting piece of mail he had received.

Karl, an avid motorcyclist, had recently returned from a ride to Brew City, also known as Milwaukee, Wis.

The trip was uneventful for the most part.

There was some great motorcycle rally entertainment. A tour of an old propeller-factory- turned-Harley-Davidson plant, bike shows, burnout contests and food.

For a motorcycle enthusiast such as Karl, a vacation where you can wear leather from head to toe and not feel out of place is better than a week on a tropical island.

“Things were great, until I got home,” Karl said.

He opened his mail and discovered he had received a fine for not paying a toll on a new portion of the Pennsylvania Turnpike west of Pittsburgh.

“I couldn’t believe it,” he said. “Those toll booths took coins only or were all EZ Pass.”

He didn’t have the correct change, so he blew through the booth.

“I have a problem with my EZ Pass transponder,” he said.

“What’s wrong with it?” I asked.

“I don’t have one,” he admitted.

And guess what happens if you go through and don’t have a transponder?

Well, a camera will take a picture of your license plate and a ticket comes in the mail.

The EZ Pass system records each transaction, including the time, date, toll plaza and toll charge.

Since the license plate on Karl’s motorcycle is beneath a bulky piece of luggage, he believed it wasn’t possible for the plate to be identified.

Wrong.

“Not only could you read the number, but I saw two gnats having a discussion on the plate’s registration sticker,” he said. “There must have been a camera on the road.”

Karl said his decision to roll through the booth was not only wrong, but expensive.

The actual toll was 50 cents, but a $25 charge was tacked on to the summons he received in the mail.

“They called the $25 an administrative fee,” Karl said. “Whatever it’s called, it’s costing me money.”

The notice was direct and to the point: “You exited the Pennsylvania Turnpike through an EZ Pass lane and did not pay the toll due.”

I told Karl to be a man and fight it.

I advised him to throw himself on the mercy of the court and plead “e pluribus unum,” which is Latin for “I had no quarters.”

Karl rejected my advice.

“I’m paying the violation to avoid having collectors come after me,” he said.

Traffic ticket stories are much like hangover tales; everybody has one.

Ironically, they each produce the same symptoms: Nausea, headache, guilt, regret and fear of repercussions.

Millie, the waitress at Suds and Grub, jumped into the conversation.

She and her boyfriend, whom we call The Mayor, mistakenly went through an EZ Pass booth but soon realized their mistake.

“The Mayor swung around and told a toll booth collector that we went through the wrong booth, but we were willing to pay the toll,” Millie said.

“Too late,” said the guy sitting in the toll booth.

“What do you mean?” The Mayor asked.

“The camera already snapped your picture,” he said.

Karl simply said: “Well, there’s another Kodak moment.”