Published: April 25, 2007 07:05 pm         

Celebrating commercialism at ESPN

In my stupor on Saturday morning, I managed to catch a spot on ESPN that reaffirmed my faith in the “This is SportsCenter” series of ads. The ad featured Red Sox slugger David Ortiz donning a Yankees cap and getting caught in the act by the Red Sox mascot, Wally.

As I was explaining the commercial to Eric Knopsnyder, sports editor at The Tribune-Democrat who hadn’t seen it yet, the wheels started rolling in my head as to what would be in the top 20 list of the “This is SportsCenter” series. Because I have way too much time on my hands,* I was able to assemble said list and a few honorable mentions. And through the wonder of YouTube, some of the ads can be relived through this very blog and any computer that has a moderately fast connection.

(*-Earlier this weekend I found a mod file to convert MVP Baseball 2005 on the PC into a 1994 simulator. That’s how much time I have to work with away from the office.)

Honorable mentions (in no particular order): Highlight Delivery, Grant Hill: Lobby Pianist, Big Ben’s a Hero, Hitchin’ a Ride.

Two that would have made the top 20 list if I could have found the links: “ESPN Company Picnic” (Just the thought of then-recent four-time swimming gold medalist Amy Van Dyken losing all of her medals to Keith Olbermann during a “friendly” game of poker made this commercial great). ... “Biscuit in the Basket” (A commercial that Knopsnyder was surprised by when it first came out because of the ugly split between ESPN and Olbermann. You almost feel for Dan Patrick as he gets misty-eyed after hearing one of Olbermann’s trademark catchphrases a bit too soon following Olbermann’s departure.)

Note: All of these links should be work- or school-safe.

20-Rain Delay: A great spot, if only because it depicted an improbable scenario with rain inside the ESPN studios. Though if the fire alarms were to go off during a taping, this is very possible. Having sat through a few rain delays, this is pretty much what happens.

19-LeBron’s Chair: Scott Van Pelt takes his throne as one of my favorite anchors on the show by borrowing LeBron James’ chair.

18-Don’t Walk: One of the originals of the series. Almost everyone in the world of sports and ESPN get involved to wipe away traveling in the NBA. Sadly if you look at today’s NBA, the results were less than successful.

17-Sweet 62: What does friendship mean to Patrick? A sweet ride thanks to Mark McGwire. Though if you were to ask McGwire about it now, he’d probably refuse to answer the question.

16-Power Cycle: Cycling legend Lance Armstrong keeps energy costs down at ESPN with his stationary bike, even when Patrick shows worry.

15-Problem Solved: Nextel Cup driver Jimmie Johnson makes his visits to Bristol a bit smoother.

14-Wrestling Needs Love Too: King Kong Bundy and a pair of sweet mullets on Shawn Michaels and Kevin (Diesel) Nash. That’s all I’m saying.

13-Big Buddy: Kids learn an important lesson about the cut-throat world of befriending SportsCenter anchors.

12-A Fair Trade: Charlie Steiner’s first of many appearances in the countdown, Melrose Place would have been much different with Steiner in the cast.

11-Near-perfect Show: Patrick, who threw a no-hitter in his younger days according to “The Big Show” – a book he co-authored with Olbermann, almost hits perfection. Those double-negatives always sneak up at the worst times.

10-ESPN is a (Manning) Family Network: One of the roughly 639 commercials that Peyton Manning has appeared in since 2005. This might also be one of the best, with his father, Archie, keeping Peyton and his younger brother, Eli, in line during a studio tour.

9-He’s Still Got It: Ahh, Jack Edwards on ESPN and Roger Clemens when he was still in Boston. Two things I miss.

8-Ringers: Having friends that just happen to be NBA players can be a good thing. Craig Kilborn’s line at the end is always good for a laugh.

7-High School Bust: Poor kid had potential too. Though I had the same thoughts about Jimmy Key at around the same time.

6-SportsCenter Around the World: For those who thought that Kenny Mayne and Patrick only did the show in English, you are so wrong.

5-Warming Up: Van Pelt and Stuart Scott getting loose before a taping and then discarding their warm-up suits.

4-Security: Rob Ray keeping a tight watch on security at ESPN. Because of this, I learned the importance of carrying ID.

3-Rookie Camp: Keyshawn Johnson, who took these lessons a bit too seriously throughout his career, and Kobe Bryant receive valuable teachings.

1(tie)-Y2K Preparations: “Follow me. Follow me to freedom!” This was originally ranked a bit lower, but a spot of lobbying bumped it into a tie. The Rutgers mascot conquering the Connecticut Husky and McGwire wantonly smashing a computer also made this commercial great.

1(tie)-Steiner vs. Holyfield! (Alternate Version ) : The lasting image of this one is Evander Holyfield barging through the ESPN office calling for Steiner, hiding under a desk, to come out and get his whooping. Bonus points for Patrick’s role in riling up the always chipper Mr. Met in the first link. The alternate link features former hockey tough guy Jeff Beukeboom searching for justice.

Disagree? Agree? Have your own list? Feel free to contact me via e-mail at scurtis@tribdem.com.



Shawn Curtis is a sports writer with The Tribune-Democrat and can be reached at scurtis@tribdem.com. He would never brag of his exploits with Mrs. Met.

     

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